If it smells like bullshit, it probably is!
- Business Exits.co.uk
- Oct 14
- 3 min read
If you’re getting a stream of “we’d love to buy your company” emails, LinkedIn messages and letters, you’re not alone. The market is full of financial buyers, search funds and “investor groups” circling retirement-ready owners. Many are genuine; too many aren’t.
There are no shortcuts and no free lunches when you’re selling your life’s work to a stranger.
Below are the five biggest lies you’ll hear, why they’re used, how they show up, and where they quietly cost you value. No theatrics. Just the tell.
1) “Funds are ready, we’re fully financed.”
Cash talk calms sellers and opens doors. It’s designed to get you sharing information and granting exclusivity while they see if your deal can help them raise the money.
What it looks like
Vague “family office” and “HNW backers” with no names, mandates or emails from a real domain.
A generic “proof of funds” screenshot that confirms nothing is reserved for your transaction.
A broker chat passed off as a lender relationship.
Heavy reliance on vendor finance because the equity cheque is missing.
Where it hurts. You end up underwriting their inexperience through deferrals, earn-outs and security taken over the very business you’re selling.
2) “We can complete in 30 days.”
The aim is to rush you into exclusivity and early disclosures. Once they have an option over your business, the tempo slows while they “socialise the deal.”
What it looks like
No diligence plan, no team list, no timetable, just urgency.
A “light-touch” request list that balloons from 20 items to 200.
New faces appearing late in the process with fresh “approvals.”
Deadlines creeping past your year-end or peak trading to gain leverage.
Where it hurts. Time pressure flips on you. As weeks pass, alternatives fade, and late-stage “revisions” appear to price, terms and risk allocation.
3) “Your price works, if we structure it right.”
The tactic is simple: agree your target headline, then move 30–60% of it into deferrals, contingent notes and earn-outs that shift financing risk back to you.
What it looks like
Earn-outs pegged to EBITDA the buyer controls (group charges, capex delays, headcount cuts).
Loose “retention” and working capital mechanisms weaponised after completion.
Security for deferrals that’s junior, porous or absent.
Creative instruments (“performance notes”, “stability bonds”) that are IOUs in a new coat.
Where it hurts. You think you sold for £X. In reality you only sold for “£X if the buyer’s future decisions go your way.”
4) “We’re principals, not brokers. We won’t shop your deal.”
Access to your information has value, especially to people who aren’t actually buyers. Claiming to be a principal unlocks data packs they can push to real buyers or lenders.
What it looks like
Gmail addresses, thin Companies House footprints, and no record of owning anything.
An “investment committee” that’s a WhatsApp group.
Requests to reuse your deck in “partner diligence.”
LinkedIn histories heavy on advisory titles, light on ownership or operating roles.
Where it hurts. Confidentiality leaks, staff anxiety, competitor sniffing and your story walking around the market attached to someone else’s logo.
5) “We’ll look after your people, culture fit is our priority.”
Most owners care deeply about their team and legacy. The “values” speech lowers your guard while the buyer tries to make the numbers work.
What it looks like
A warm promise instead of a written 100-day plan.
No sector track record, but big talk about “systems” and “digital transformation.”
Forensic interest in property, stock and cash, but shallow questions on customers, contracts and operations.
Post-deal “efficiencies” that contradict the pre-deal promises.
Where it hurts. When the economics pinch, heads roll. “Culture” was a placeholder, not a plan.
The uncomfortable truth
Serious buyers arrive with three things: money, a plan and a team that’s done it before. Everyone else arrives with your time. Entertaining the wrong party burns confidentiality, saps momentum and erodes value through late-stage re-trades.
You won’t get the chance to sell this business twice. At retirement, risk and guesswork don’t belong on your side of the table.
The sensible answer
Work with experienced advisers who have successfully sold many businesses. The right team will:
Separate funded principals from wish-lists before they touch your data.
Run a disciplined, confidential process that creates real competitive tension.
Lock down price, structure, protections and a credible plan before exclusivity, not after.
Protect downside with the right mechanisms on deferrals, earn-outs, working capital and warranties.
Keep the timetable honest and your leverage intact.
At BusinessExits.co.uk, we treat your exit as the one-off event it is. We take the risk and the guesswork out of your retirement deal with a process built on experience, evidence and outcomes, not promises. You won’t get the chance to do it again.
Book a confidential call with one of our directors.
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